It's a shame that we have to die dear...

I wish...

2008-05-11T03:48:00.000-07:00

... that I had something new to tell you guys.
But I've got nothing.

Inhale, exhale.

2008-04-10T00:04:00.000-07:00

I need a smoke maaan.

I'm tired of hiding cigarettes. Help a girl out?
Light it up.

NEW

2008-04-01T00:39:00.001-07:00

Mum agreed to getting my nose pierced. :)

Today is the day...

2008-03-20T18:15:00.001-07:00

... to start all over.

Rootless Tree--

2008-03-11T01:14:00.000-07:00

What I want from this is learn to let go.
No, not of you; of all that's been told.
Killers re-invent and believe and this leans on me, like a rootless...

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you and all we've been through.

I said leave it, leave it, leave it, there's nothing in you.

And did you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good.

That you just let me out, let me out, let me out of this hell when you're around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out of this hell when you're around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.
Hell when you're around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.
Hell when you're around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out.
Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.

The boy in the top right picture is only there for one reason.
The picture is incredible, don't you agree?

Let's...

2008-02-29T00:42:00.000-08:00

... sex?
... smoke?
... live?
... cry?
... smile?
... sleep?
... love?
... die?

I would like to love you.
But, I need to start over.

I need to change.

Texting can prove to be unhealthy.

2008-02-18T01:20:00.000-08:00

I got a new phone... AGAIN.
Mother wanted me on Verizon, so here we are.

Since the new year began, I feel like no one understands anything about me.

Except for Aaron. But, I need to find someone here who won't look at me crazy for smoking a cigarette, for wanting to change into someone new everyday, for drawing and crumpling every piece of paper that I conjured anything onto. Now that I think about it, I do have someone here that can be provide friendship like this. Hm, I feel as though there is someone that I haven't met yet though, that is the missing puzzle piece to my life.

People are expecting too much of me and frankly,

I can't take this anymore.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

I...

2008-02-08T00:24:00.000-08:00

... absolutely, definitely love my smile.

Heeey_

2008-01-30T14:54:00.000-08:00

It's beautiful outside.

Sometimes, I really want to live in a box.

rainy day poetry

2008-01-28T16:30:00.001-08:00

she cringed as she felt water
SINK into the heel of her flat.

some puddles are [ u n f o r g i v i n g ].

but her distorted face quickly transformed into a SMILE.

a fracture within the
clouds had produced
a droplet of water

itself fixed had that
.forehead her upon

s l o w l y shutting her eyelids,
she w h i s p e r e d to the sky,

"GOD is in the rain..."

Oh my ___.

2008-01-27T18:49:00.000-08:00

My new baby.

Is this how love is supposed to feel?

Canon PowerShot SX100 IS

Promise... broken.

2008-01-20T16:13:00.001-08:00

So I promised that I wouldn't do that again.

I lied. My life, my mind, my body, my soul.

You forget that I'm the one that has to live with myself.

Question is... will you still love me?

'//'.'//'..'../

2008-01-10T16:19:00.000-08:00

I walked home today, without my mp3 player.

...

I think I liked it.

Listening to the world occur around you isn't so bad.

stars.

2008-01-02T18:10:00.000-08:00

When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

][][][|][][

2008-01-02T01:04:00.000-08:00

Assume nothing my dear.

11:11

2008-01-01T16:02:00.000-08:00

I dreamt that I was in my kitchen, gazing out the window, as though I was waiting for someone to appear.

And there he was, the perfect boy. My eyes instantly locked onto his smile. He didn't even have to say a word and I just knew that he was going to meet me at my window.

I'm not sure if there was a ladder beneath his feet, or if he somehow levitated to my second-floor window, but he was there. In the dream, I could feel the happiness radiating from inside me, almost like the sun and its rays.

I suppose my window was already open and it didn't have a screen on it. He was kneeling through the window when I grabbed his hand to help him in. His hand was incredibly warm, even though it seemed freezing cold on the outside of my home. And then, without any signal, any word at all... it happened.

We kissed.

And then I woke up. I'll have my first kiss someday.

0101110010

2007-12-29T18:42:00.000-08:00

Because the wind is high, it blows my mind.

Is there anybody going to listen to my story?

2007-12-27T23:05:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel as though... maybe you were only meant to be in another being's life for a mission, to lend out your hand per say?

I'm not too sure where I'm supposed to fit in this person's life anymore and it scares the living Hell out of me.

* * *

Does this mean that I've accomplished the mission? Does it mean that... this is over?

I've lost my map once again. Time to re-draw another one, yeah?

You hear that...?

2007-12-26T14:30:00.000-08:00

The winds of change.

Are you ready? I know I am.

But this is besides the point. I have a new obsession, Bright Eyes. One of my incredibly good friends, her name also Megan, burned me fifteen CD's including Bright Eyes; Son, Ambulance; Maria Taylor; Feist; Stars; and Damien Rice.

I haven't gotten through all of them yet, but I'm already deep in the roots of love and there's no way out.

Hope you two readers are doing well. Peace.

2981573246908432

2007-12-26T00:06:00.000-08:00

WhenTheCuriousGirlRealizesSheIsUnderGlass

..,,;;.,;.;.,;..,.

2007-11-28T23:45:00.000-08:00

I'm trying so hard to remember that life is beautiful.

death

2007-11-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

"The word is LOVE."

I miss you dad. I miss the funny things you'd say and the funny faces you made. I miss holding your hand. I miss your long hugs. I miss your voice and the way you made me comfortable. I miss your singing. I miss your yelling. I miss it when you'd wake me up to take the dog for a walk. I miss coming home to you watching television. I miss staying up all night with you. I miss watching movies with you. I miss talking to you. I miss arguing with you. I miss going places with you. I miss taking care of you and cleaning up after you. I miss learning from you. I miss tucking you in when you were cold. I miss your advice, your love, and overall, I miss your laugh. You are/will be the best man that I have ever known. I was so lucky to have you for my father, even if it was only for seventeen years. I love you.

R.I.P.
Nicholas "Nicky" Spero
July 16, 1962-October 13, 2007
My father and my best friend.

<3

[+]

2007-11-14T21:30:00.001-08:00

A world... built upon the lines and shapes you've drawn. Corners, curves, and jagged edges. Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to live in a world you've created from your imagination?

Then again, there wouldn't be any treasures to discover. You would already know every crevice, steep, and piece of beauty that ever existed. That wouldn't be any fun at all.

I change my mind.

..;,,,;,;;.;;...,,;;...

2007-11-12T00:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes... I think I would be better off without that boy.

(Fuck, it hurts to say that.)

I could use a cigarette right about now.